College Debt and Time
I don’t want to go back to class after my cigarette break. Smoking makes me stink. It’s hard to sit next to a pretty person after I smoke. I never labeled it nicotine addiction when I was working on my 4-year degree. The truth is I used cigarettes to keep me from going A-Wall.
classes and living off welfare wages. The pain of always worrying about future employment. Is education worth the time and money I spent EARNING knowledge? YES and NO?
Conceal the Truth
I smell like cigarettes, and the nearest shower was an hour an half commute. What to do? Stick of gum, body spray. Wash my hands. That’s how I try to hide it. Having a nicotine habit is embarrassing. Nerves were always calling me. Big tobacco, what are you using to keep us addicted to your drugs? Is it just the hand gestures that create the habit of having something in your mouth? Is it the smoke that withdraws from the lungs into earth’s air? What is it, that keeps me coming back for it?
Reality of Life
Even in the real world, I carried the behavior of breaking for a cigarette. Fresh out of college for a sociology major on a job hunt, was not exciting. Companies were not begging me to apply for jobs. The demand for us was slim pickings. Especially in Chicago; where it’s not what you know, its who you know. The ugly N-word: Nepotism.
Work environment breeds triggers to go to a safe zone to produce smoke in the air. Our jobs commit us to memory on when we need to take a smoke break. For instance, being in the library for many hours working, reminds us we need to smoke. Work, work, work, when does it every end. Do we smoke cigarettes to pass the time, or to deal with redundant work?
During vacation time, cigarettes are something foreign to me. Traveling makes me smoke less, if anything, not smoke at all. Traveling soothes the soul and puts things in perspective. Goals we need to accomplish and the many other things we set to achieve.
The world can be a brutal place but stick to it. Smokeless and live a healthy life. Try cutting down. There are many nicotine replacement therapies out here that help. Pick one and know there is a community of us that are part of the struggle of freeing ourselves from cigarettes.